There’s a sturdy, majestic oak tree,
Found deep in the thick woods.
Two hundred years old,
It stands like a wise man
Surrounded by young souls.
She runs to it
And grabs it’s trunk,
Beginning her thousandth climb
As she ascends
Her falling tears land at the foot of the tree
Watering the centuries old roots
With vibrant waters of youth.
She finds solace in that;
At least her tears are of worth
And as she sits there,
Perched on the lowest branch
She’s struck once again by how right she feels;
How perfectly she fits in the curvature of the branch
Her harsh breathing begins to calm
And her racing pulse steadies
She closes her eyes
And feels the breeze on her face
There are birds chirping up above
The melodies of which soothe her anger, her angst
She sits for hours on end
Perched in serenity
Until the sun sets
And the stars shine bright
When she must detach herself
And descend back to reality.
It breaks her heart
As she hesitantly makes her way to the clearing,
And turning back one final time
Mutters a prayer of thanks for the oak tree
And the peace that it encompasses;
Her safe haven.
-NHG
Tuesday, 14 July 2015
Friday, 10 July 2015
Up In Flames
We fight for lost causes;
Small battles in a war we're destined to lose
Justifying all evils,
Painting a world of grey
Where all is condoned
And everything is acceptable
But through all the triumph
Sometimes it's hard to see the smoke rising in the distance.
It simply goes unnoticed
That we're going up in flames.
-NHG
Small battles in a war we're destined to lose
Justifying all evils,
Painting a world of grey
Where all is condoned
And everything is acceptable
But through all the triumph
Sometimes it's hard to see the smoke rising in the distance.
It simply goes unnoticed
That we're going up in flames.
-NHG
Self Betrayal
Your eyes give nothing away
That's the one thing I could never stand
Because I know it's not a battle
But when you look at me
It's like you're reading into my soul
And when I look back at you
There's nothing;
No hint of what you're thinking
And I hate you for having that advantage,
But I hate me too
For betraying myself.
-NHG
That's the one thing I could never stand
Because I know it's not a battle
But when you look at me
It's like you're reading into my soul
And when I look back at you
There's nothing;
No hint of what you're thinking
And I hate you for having that advantage,
But I hate me too
For betraying myself.
-NHG
Stranger
She looked into her eyes
And saw everything that words could never say
Because it was all there;
The emptiness, the hurt, the pain
Everything that she could never quite express in words
Was staring back at her from the eyes of this stranger
And in that moment, she knew that if she could just make it hurt a little less for someone else,
Then maybe it'd be worth it.
Then maybe she'd be okay.
And saw everything that words could never say
Because it was all there;
The emptiness, the hurt, the pain
Everything that she could never quite express in words
Was staring back at her from the eyes of this stranger
And in that moment, she knew that if she could just make it hurt a little less for someone else,
Then maybe it'd be worth it.
Then maybe she'd be okay.
-NHG
Walk Away
The candle flickers in the darkness
It's dancing, drawing you closer
Drawing you towards the laughter,
Towards the loud carefree voice
And you might just catch a glimpse of her
And see everything that she'll never be to you
And hell sometimes I wish you would;
That you'd realize that she deserves so much more
And right before you turn her world upside down once again,
The candle goes out
And she's gone before you can even make it round the corner.
She's cried the last tears she'll ever cry for you.
It's time for you to walk away.
-NHG
It's dancing, drawing you closer
Drawing you towards the laughter,
Towards the loud carefree voice
And you might just catch a glimpse of her
And see everything that she'll never be to you
And hell sometimes I wish you would;
That you'd realize that she deserves so much more
And right before you turn her world upside down once again,
The candle goes out
And she's gone before you can even make it round the corner.
She's cried the last tears she'll ever cry for you.
It's time for you to walk away.
-NHG
Crazy
You know you're in trouble when the days start to blur together
When they all feel too long
Like one never quite ended before the next began
You might as well be walking on clouds
Because you can't feel the ground below your feet
Your vision's failing you;
It feels like your body's giving in
But it's too soon
It was never meant to happen this way
But life's crazy like that
Some of us just weren't made to last very long.
-NHG
When they all feel too long
Like one never quite ended before the next began
You might as well be walking on clouds
Because you can't feel the ground below your feet
Your vision's failing you;
It feels like your body's giving in
But it's too soon
It was never meant to happen this way
But life's crazy like that
Some of us just weren't made to last very long.
-NHG
Pitter-Patter
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter
The tears fall from her eyes
Onto the canvas, smudging the paint
It takes her by surprise
The tears fall from her eyes
Onto the canvas, smudging the paint
It takes her by surprise
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter
Tears falling thick and fast
Patiently waiting for the hurt to fade
She knows that it won't last.
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter,
Hot water hits her skin
The shower's filling up with steam
It's less painful than what's within
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter,
It's pouring down with rain
She looks down at her artwork
Your face is covered by a stain
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter
Lightening and thunder roar
She hates how much she hates herself
What's the word? "Abhor"?
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter,
It's drizzling, soft and light
Breathe in, breathe out. Start again
There's a rainbow shining bright.
-NHG
The Thought Of Losing You
I don't need you here,
I need you safe.
I need you safe.
I don't need you to love me,
I need you to know that you're loved.
I need you to know that you're loved.
I don't need an apology,
I need you to get better.
I don't need you to need me,
I just can't bear the thought of losing you.
-NHG
Save You
You swim out into the clear blue water as I watch on in disbelief.
Further and further you go, being pulled deeper and deeper by the second.
Suddenly you stop; you're sinking and without a moment's hesitation I jump in to save you.
But I can't swim.
Further and further you go, being pulled deeper and deeper by the second.
Suddenly you stop; you're sinking and without a moment's hesitation I jump in to save you.
But I can't swim.
I give in to the pull of the current as I ponder that thought.
I can't save you.
I can't even save myself.
-NHG
Animal
Strapped down; held against your will
Powerless; bound like an animal.
The shock runs through you like a bullet
The electricity sizzles through your skin
You can feel your blood boiling in your veins,
And you're screaming, struggling,
Bracing yourself for the volts of electricity that you pray won't come
And you wonder how someone could do this to you.
It's inhumane, torture.
All so that you can forget what you've done.
And you don't even deserve it,
The luxury of forgetting.
If I can't sleep at night,
Why should you?
-NHG
Powerless; bound like an animal.
The shock runs through you like a bullet
The electricity sizzles through your skin
You can feel your blood boiling in your veins,
And you're screaming, struggling,
Bracing yourself for the volts of electricity that you pray won't come
And you wonder how someone could do this to you.
It's inhumane, torture.
All so that you can forget what you've done.
And you don't even deserve it,
The luxury of forgetting.
If I can't sleep at night,
Why should you?
-NHG
It's The Things We Hide
It's the things we hide that eat us alive,
The secrets we guard that tear us apart.
It's the tears we cry that cut like knives,
The memories we shun that make us bite our tongues.
It's the fractures and scars we won't let heal,
The past to which we cling, which means we'll never win.
-NHG
The secrets we guard that tear us apart.
It's the tears we cry that cut like knives,
The memories we shun that make us bite our tongues.
It's the fractures and scars we won't let heal,
The past to which we cling, which means we'll never win.
-NHG
Sweet Dreams
Curled up in a ball,
Wrapped inside your sheets.
Eyes closed-
You say your prayers
And you wait.
You wait for the shouting,
For the sound of pots crashing against the wall.
You wait for the screaming,
For the crying.
You wait to hear her heart break,
And to feels yours break as well.
You wait for her to walk in,
For the fear to swallow you whole.
You wait to be suffocated,
To come face to face with the madness.
But then the lights go out
And whimpers are all that remain.
It's bedtime.
Sweet dreams!
Wrapped inside your sheets.
Eyes closed-
You say your prayers
And you wait.
You wait for the shouting,
For the sound of pots crashing against the wall.
You wait for the screaming,
For the crying.
You wait to hear her heart break,
And to feels yours break as well.
You wait for her to walk in,
For the fear to swallow you whole.
You wait to be suffocated,
To come face to face with the madness.
But then the lights go out
And whimpers are all that remain.
It's bedtime.
Sweet dreams!
-NHG
Blue Eyes, Blonde Hair
Blues eyes, blonde hair
The thoughts run through my mind
I should have seen it, I didn't dare
I guess I was too blind.
The thoughts run through my mind
I should have seen it, I didn't dare
I guess I was too blind.
Dimpled cheeks, lean and strong,
The way you used to smile,
I miss you now, it's been too long,
We haven't spoken in a while.
Perfect accent, quiet but clear,
I forced you to walk away,
You leaving was my biggest fear,
But I had no faith you'd stay.
Long lashed, freckled face,
You were just too good to be true,
You played the game and won the race,
Yet still I hid from you.
Longs legs, dark hair,
Swept in to save the day
I knew that it was only fair,
That this was the price to pay.
Captivated; the look in your eye,
The way you once looked at me,
I knew then, that it would die,
Whatever we could be.
Blue eyes, blonde hair,
I thought that I would cry,
My biggest mistake: "I don't care."
You should know, that was a lie.
Strong arms, soothing voice
It was in your tight embrace,
That I realized it was a stupid choice,
That you didn't just want the chase.
As they say, you live and learn,
Well you're a lesson I'll never forget.
I'm sorry that I watched us burn
Please know, it's my deepest regret.
-NHG
Puzzle
You don't know what it's like,
When you've spent a lifetime on a puzzle
And you've finally figured it out;
It's all becoming clear,
And you reach out,
The second-to-last piece in your hand,
And then the picture changes.
All that work?
Gone.
All those hours?
For nothing.
And you're screaming;
Furious.
Because how dare that puzzle change.
But nobody understands your rage
Because it's just "a new beginning"
Except it's not-it's a lifetime.
And it took a lifetime.
And to start again?
The first time was torture enough.
-NHG
When you've spent a lifetime on a puzzle
And you've finally figured it out;
It's all becoming clear,
And you reach out,
The second-to-last piece in your hand,
And then the picture changes.
All that work?
Gone.
All those hours?
For nothing.
And you're screaming;
Furious.
Because how dare that puzzle change.
But nobody understands your rage
Because it's just "a new beginning"
Except it's not-it's a lifetime.
And it took a lifetime.
And to start again?
The first time was torture enough.
-NHG
Faucet
Her eyes leak;
A forgotten faucet.
Her soul dripping,
Slow and steady.
Emotionally drained,
Weak and exhausted;
Exposed.
If only you saw the demons,
If only you knew their torturous charm.
Then you'd understand
You're on your own.
Save yourself.
-NHG
A forgotten faucet.
Her soul dripping,
Slow and steady.
Emotionally drained,
Weak and exhausted;
Exposed.
If only you saw the demons,
If only you knew their torturous charm.
Then you'd understand
You're on your own.
Save yourself.
-NHG
Plummet
One day you'll step off that cliff
You'll feel the air start to swirl beneath your feet
And hope to God that you can fly,
Yet it will come as no surprise
As you plummet to your death.
Because you never believed the myth;
You knew that you were never made to soar.
-NHG
You'll feel the air start to swirl beneath your feet
And hope to God that you can fly,
Yet it will come as no surprise
As you plummet to your death.
Because you never believed the myth;
You knew that you were never made to soar.
-NHG
5 Years
In the blink of an eye,
5 years had vanished
She let it eat her alive
And half a decade was gone
But God bless the angels,
Who told her the truth
"That little girl's still there.
She's been there all along."
-NHG
5 years had vanished
She let it eat her alive
And half a decade was gone
But God bless the angels,
Who told her the truth
"That little girl's still there.
She's been there all along."
-NHG
All Is Forgotten
You finally see her
Standing there waiting,
She's looking around frantically.
The excitement, the hope,
You can see it in her eyes
And you try to blink back the tears,
But she just looks so fragile
And that's all it takes;
That look in her eyes,
A look that says more than words ever will,
Because she seems so hopeful,
Like she needs to know that it's okay;
That all is forgotten-
And so it is,
Because that's what happens when you care about someone,
It's not about you;
Their needs come first.
-NHG
Standing there waiting,
She's looking around frantically.
The excitement, the hope,
You can see it in her eyes
And you try to blink back the tears,
But she just looks so fragile
And that's all it takes;
That look in her eyes,
A look that says more than words ever will,
Because she seems so hopeful,
Like she needs to know that it's okay;
That all is forgotten-
And so it is,
Because that's what happens when you care about someone,
It's not about you;
Their needs come first.
-NHG
Eyes Don't Lie
It's the way she fiddles with her hair
And laughs a bit too loud,
The way she twirls her necklace
And smiles a bit too wide.
The way she walks too tall
And stands too stiff,
The nervous look in her eyes;
And the trust she's unwilling to give
It's the way she can't quite meet your eye,
And has to look away,
The way that she's shaken by tiny things
And forgets how to speak
It's how she hides behind her bangs,
And refuses to remember
It's her past, her present,
And her secret.
It's everything and then it's nothing at all,
Some people notice it,
And some never do,
But if you look a little closer
It's impossible to miss,
Because her eyes don't lie
And it's written all over her face.
-NHG
And laughs a bit too loud,
The way she twirls her necklace
And smiles a bit too wide.
The way she walks too tall
And stands too stiff,
The nervous look in her eyes;
And the trust she's unwilling to give
It's the way she can't quite meet your eye,
And has to look away,
The way that she's shaken by tiny things
And forgets how to speak
It's how she hides behind her bangs,
And refuses to remember
It's her past, her present,
And her secret.
It's everything and then it's nothing at all,
Some people notice it,
And some never do,
But if you look a little closer
It's impossible to miss,
Because her eyes don't lie
And it's written all over her face.
-NHG
Breathe
It hits you all of a sudden;
Out of the blue
And it smacks you straight in the gut
And you're suffocating;
The oxygen has vanished from the room
And your heart's beating too fast
And you're inhaling too quickly-but to no avail,
And you're first instinct is to run-
I wonder where you got that from?
But maybe if you can just get away from here;
Get out of this room,
Then maybe it'll be okay,
And you're gone before you know what you're doing
And panic begins to take over
Because nothing's happening;
You're panting
And nothing's happening.
And you've been here before,
You just need to calm down
So you look yourself in the eye
"Breathe" you chat, "Breathe"
And slowly you're coming back down,
Slowly you're lungs are beginning to fill
And your smile comes back;
Your laugh that fills the room
And the show goes on,
And it's amazing how you never learn
That pain is not something that can be outrun.
-NHG
Out of the blue
And it smacks you straight in the gut
And you're suffocating;
The oxygen has vanished from the room
And your heart's beating too fast
And you're inhaling too quickly-but to no avail,
And you're first instinct is to run-
I wonder where you got that from?
But maybe if you can just get away from here;
Get out of this room,
Then maybe it'll be okay,
And you're gone before you know what you're doing
And panic begins to take over
Because nothing's happening;
You're panting
And nothing's happening.
And you've been here before,
You just need to calm down
So you look yourself in the eye
"Breathe" you chat, "Breathe"
And slowly you're coming back down,
Slowly you're lungs are beginning to fill
And your smile comes back;
Your laugh that fills the room
And the show goes on,
And it's amazing how you never learn
That pain is not something that can be outrun.
-NHG
Perfume
Nervous little girl
Deadline day draws near
Her head in her hand
What path should she choose?
There's a lingering scent
It's familiar, nostalgic;
A distraction even-
It smells like childhood.
A memory awakens;
Her mother dabbing her wrists
A sweet, musky smell begins to fill the room
And suddenly it's clear,
She knows what to do,
A smell, her calling
Perfume...perfume.
-NHG
Deadline day draws near
Her head in her hand
What path should she choose?
There's a lingering scent
It's familiar, nostalgic;
A distraction even-
It smells like childhood.
A memory awakens;
Her mother dabbing her wrists
A sweet, musky smell begins to fill the room
And suddenly it's clear,
She knows what to do,
A smell, her calling
Perfume...perfume.
-NHG
A Whisper Of Wind
It’s amazing
How you can come from something so perfect,
So happy,
So loving,
So whole,
And how it can just be shattered.
A whisper of wind;
One single breath
And it’s in pieces;
Gone up in flames,
Leaving nothing but ashes;
Ashes and poisonous fumes.
It’s intoxicating
And yet you’re drawn to it
Because it’s a part of you,
Or you’re a part of it
And it kills you
To see something so broken,
But it’s the only place that you know that you belong.
How you can come from something so perfect,
So happy,
So loving,
So whole,
And how it can just be shattered.
A whisper of wind;
One single breath
And it’s in pieces;
Gone up in flames,
Leaving nothing but ashes;
Ashes and poisonous fumes.
It’s intoxicating
And yet you’re drawn to it
Because it’s a part of you,
Or you’re a part of it
And it kills you
To see something so broken,
But it’s the only place that you know that you belong.
-NHG
A Million Little Pieces
A million little pieces
Scattered in a mess
Going round in circles
I think she failed the test
Scattered in a mess
Going round in circles
I think she failed the test
A million little pieces
Trapped; stuck in time
It's all moving too quickly
Can she make it out alive?
A million little pieces
She spoke before she thought
Mistakes in quick succession;
About to self combust.
A million little pieces
"Still as good as new"
The pressure quickly rising
A volcano, ready to spew
A million little pieces
No time for these old games
Memories and laughter,
Anger is all that remains.
A million little pieces
The colour starts to fade
So close to giving up
Too far to walk away
A million little pieces
Eyes that now hold pain
A continuous pattern occurring
She's borderline insane
A million little pieces
Now she can't think straight
Holding on to hopeless words
Her tears won't be contained.
A million little pieces
A million giant holes
There's nothing that'll fill them
And she can't let it go.
A million little pieces
Flashback through the year,
She's lost all control
And that's her biggest fear.
A million little pieces
Standing on a ledge,
Looking down; debating
She just wants it to end.
A million little pieces
Drifting in the wind
It's getting hard to focus
Pray she won't give in.
-NHG
Love
Love.
How would you define it?
Giving someone your heart
And trusting them with it?
Opening yourself up to two possibilities;
Completeness or pain?
Is it a tingle in your stomach;
A nervous sensation of butterflies?
Or a thrill; excitement,
Like seeing the sunrise for the first time?
Is it peace and safety;
The reassurance of having someone beside you
-Always and forever?
Or is it just comfortable,
A familiar pattern; not boring-but a pleasant trend
Surprising and refreshing in a way that no one else could ever understand?
Is it the unspoken bond between father and son?
Or is it in itself vulnerability;
The act of placing a bulls-eye on your own back?
Maybe it doesn't matter though
Just as long as you can feel
Because maybe love is all those things and more.
It's definable in it's own way,
In a parallel universe
Where truths are accepted;
Where there's black and white-but no grey.
Because maybe love is more real and true and pure
Than our flawed nature will ever have the capacity to fathom.
-NHG
How would you define it?
Giving someone your heart
And trusting them with it?
Opening yourself up to two possibilities;
Completeness or pain?
Is it a tingle in your stomach;
A nervous sensation of butterflies?
Or a thrill; excitement,
Like seeing the sunrise for the first time?
Is it peace and safety;
The reassurance of having someone beside you
-Always and forever?
Or is it just comfortable,
A familiar pattern; not boring-but a pleasant trend
Surprising and refreshing in a way that no one else could ever understand?
Is it the unspoken bond between father and son?
Or is it in itself vulnerability;
The act of placing a bulls-eye on your own back?
Maybe it doesn't matter though
Just as long as you can feel
Because maybe love is all those things and more.
It's definable in it's own way,
In a parallel universe
Where truths are accepted;
Where there's black and white-but no grey.
Because maybe love is more real and true and pure
Than our flawed nature will ever have the capacity to fathom.
-NHG
Mountains
Can you see it in her eyes?
The fear; the uncertainty.
It's like she's going blind.
Because a crossroad looks just like a dead end,
And every obstacle is a mountain
And there's just too many of them;
Too many mountains,
And she doesn't have it in her,
Time's running out.
The curtains are closing on the act,
And she can't even remember her first line.
She's stuck in a trance
And she's getting dizzy now;
Nothing feels quite right.
Everything's spinning,
It's all out of control,
But it never stops,
Because the sun can't expect to rise
By glaring at the moon.
The fear; the uncertainty.
It's like she's going blind.
Because a crossroad looks just like a dead end,
And every obstacle is a mountain
And there's just too many of them;
Too many mountains,
And she doesn't have it in her,
Time's running out.
The curtains are closing on the act,
And she can't even remember her first line.
She's stuck in a trance
And she's getting dizzy now;
Nothing feels quite right.
Everything's spinning,
It's all out of control,
But it never stops,
Because the sun can't expect to rise
By glaring at the moon.
-NHG
Mortality
We've been dead since the beginning of time;
Facing a death sentence ever since our very first breaths;
A guarantee of our inferiority,
A blessing and a curse.
And our mortality?
It shows;
It's evident in our rotten hearts
And in the overpowering stench of our decay.
We're corrupted to the core.
And it's insane to think
That no one is irredeemable without choosing to be;
Consciously or unconsciously,
And that without grace
We'd all be destined for the same fate;
The fate that we deserve.
And it's sickening,
That you can turn on the TV to watch the news
And find yourself in tears.
Weeping for people you've never even known
Because some of us know compassion and empathy,
Whilst others are simply lost in violence and bloodshed.
With all the death, the suffering, the injustice that we see.
The wars, the hate,
The lies that control the world around us-
Our end is inevitable.
But maybe that's a good thing
Because who would want us to live forever?
-NHG
Facing a death sentence ever since our very first breaths;
A guarantee of our inferiority,
A blessing and a curse.
And our mortality?
It shows;
It's evident in our rotten hearts
And in the overpowering stench of our decay.
We're corrupted to the core.
And it's insane to think
That no one is irredeemable without choosing to be;
Consciously or unconsciously,
And that without grace
We'd all be destined for the same fate;
The fate that we deserve.
And it's sickening,
That you can turn on the TV to watch the news
And find yourself in tears.
Weeping for people you've never even known
Because some of us know compassion and empathy,
Whilst others are simply lost in violence and bloodshed.
With all the death, the suffering, the injustice that we see.
The wars, the hate,
The lies that control the world around us-
Our end is inevitable.
But maybe that's a good thing
Because who would want us to live forever?
-NHG
Madness
The keys in the key hole rattle as they seal your fate.
"This is it" she thought;
This is really happening,
He's really going to leave me with her,
And as the door cracks open,
She comes into view
And if you were scared before,
Then petrified doesn't even come close to what you are right now.
Because she thinks she's okay,
She's just poisoned herself,
And she legitimately believes that she's fine;
That she's better, that she's cured herself
And you look her straight in the eye
But she doesn't even know you're there.
She's not even looking right through you,
Because she can't even see you;
You're invisible.
And you thought you knew her;
That blood was the strongest bond that there was.
But staring at her now,
All you see is a shadow;
A shadow of the person you thought you knew.
And it's like she's gone-the real her just disappeared,
But somehow her body got left behind,
And then the shouting begins,
The fight, the phone calls; the madness
And so you tune out;
Drifting away to your happy place,
Because what else is an 8 year old going to do?
-NHG
"This is it" she thought;
This is really happening,
He's really going to leave me with her,
And as the door cracks open,
She comes into view
And if you were scared before,
Then petrified doesn't even come close to what you are right now.
Because she thinks she's okay,
She's just poisoned herself,
And she legitimately believes that she's fine;
That she's better, that she's cured herself
And you look her straight in the eye
But she doesn't even know you're there.
She's not even looking right through you,
Because she can't even see you;
You're invisible.
And you thought you knew her;
That blood was the strongest bond that there was.
But staring at her now,
All you see is a shadow;
A shadow of the person you thought you knew.
And it's like she's gone-the real her just disappeared,
But somehow her body got left behind,
And then the shouting begins,
The fight, the phone calls; the madness
And so you tune out;
Drifting away to your happy place,
Because what else is an 8 year old going to do?
-NHG
Trapped
When you're trapped;
In an impossible situation,
With nowhere to go
And no way to help yourself
And there's only one solution
But it benefits no one.
And it's an impossible decision;
When the only option is to lose.
-NHG
In an impossible situation,
With nowhere to go
And no way to help yourself
And there's only one solution
But it benefits no one.
And it's an impossible decision;
When the only option is to lose.
-NHG
Debt
He found you,
Lost and abandoned;
Alone on the street
And he took you in.
Clothed you, fed you,
Sheltered you, provided for you,
Adopted you into his family.
He loved you when you were unlovable.
But you did the unthinkable;
You stole from him,
Trashed his home; endangered him,
And all because of one stupid mistake.
But he found you again;
Back where he knew you'd be,
Because he'll never give up on you;
It's mercy that you'll never quite comprehend
And as he stands there,
Welcoming you back;
Not even demanding an apology,
He hears the click of a pistol;
The loading of a gun
And he shoves you out of the way.
A black car drives past
And you realize one second too late what's happening.
So you stand in shock
As the bullets ripple through the air
And then he's falling;
The cars gone,
The night's silent once again,
And he's on the floor,
Coughing blood,
Four tiny bullet holes have appeared in his chest
And he keeps coughing blood;
There's blood everywhere
But he beckons to you;
His fingers twitching slightly
And as you lean towards him,
He looks you straight in the eye
And whispers his last three words
"I love you"
And he's gone.
It's a debt that you'll never be able to repay
And the magnitude of that realisation
Lost and abandoned;
Alone on the street
And he took you in.
Clothed you, fed you,
Sheltered you, provided for you,
Adopted you into his family.
He loved you when you were unlovable.
But you did the unthinkable;
You stole from him,
Trashed his home; endangered him,
And all because of one stupid mistake.
But he found you again;
Back where he knew you'd be,
Because he'll never give up on you;
It's mercy that you'll never quite comprehend
And as he stands there,
Welcoming you back;
Not even demanding an apology,
He hears the click of a pistol;
The loading of a gun
And he shoves you out of the way.
A black car drives past
And you realize one second too late what's happening.
So you stand in shock
As the bullets ripple through the air
And then he's falling;
The cars gone,
The night's silent once again,
And he's on the floor,
Coughing blood,
Four tiny bullet holes have appeared in his chest
And he keeps coughing blood;
There's blood everywhere
But he beckons to you;
His fingers twitching slightly
And as you lean towards him,
He looks you straight in the eye
And whispers his last three words
"I love you"
And he's gone.
It's a debt that you'll never be able to repay
And the magnitude of that realisation
Is far more real than life itself.
-NHG
Empty Promises
Here we are;
Two halves that don't quite make a whole,
Incompatible-with differences that fail to compliment each other,
And I wonder why you wasted your time
With lies of love and hope and happiness
When the truth is
I was far better off without your empty promises and meaningless words.
-NHG
Two halves that don't quite make a whole,
Incompatible-with differences that fail to compliment each other,
And I wonder why you wasted your time
With lies of love and hope and happiness
When the truth is
I was far better off without your empty promises and meaningless words.
-NHG
Entropy
She goes off like a gun,
If only looks could kill.
A stray bullet; reckless, untameable.
She's a time bomb;
A volcano that's lay dormant too long
And if you're lucky-
If you're that kind of person;
Who loves watching things fall apart;
Seeing things tend towards their natural state of disorder.
You might just get to witness the breakdown,
But don't you dare stand in the crossfire,
Because all it takes
Is her trigger.
-NHG
If only looks could kill.
A stray bullet; reckless, untameable.
She's a time bomb;
A volcano that's lay dormant too long
And if you're lucky-
If you're that kind of person;
Who loves watching things fall apart;
Seeing things tend towards their natural state of disorder.
You might just get to witness the breakdown,
But don't you dare stand in the crossfire,
Because all it takes
Is her trigger.
-NHG
Buried Alive
I made a mistake;
The wrong decision, a bad choice.
But please don't forget,
I didn't want this,
I settled for this.
So maybe this is partially my own fault,
But you definitely dealt the first blow.
You dug the grave,
I just tripped ahead of schedule;
Without your shove,
But you're still the one who buried me alive.
-NHG
The wrong decision, a bad choice.
But please don't forget,
I didn't want this,
I settled for this.
So maybe this is partially my own fault,
But you definitely dealt the first blow.
You dug the grave,
I just tripped ahead of schedule;
Without your shove,
But you're still the one who buried me alive.
-NHG
Alien
When you're alienated by choice,
Because people aren't worth your time,
Or maybe you just aren't worth theirs.
Because you're a mess;
Lost and broken and a mess,
And messy means drama;
Something that you know all too well.
And nobody's going to understand,
Maybe no one should have to
So it's easier to keep your distance
Because no one can help you,
Who says you can even be fixed?
So why bother wasting their time?
And that's rational and it's logical;
It makes sense.
So how come you're making me doubt myself?
Because people aren't worth your time,
Or maybe you just aren't worth theirs.
Because you're a mess;
Lost and broken and a mess,
And messy means drama;
Something that you know all too well.
And nobody's going to understand,
Maybe no one should have to
So it's easier to keep your distance
Because no one can help you,
Who says you can even be fixed?
So why bother wasting their time?
And that's rational and it's logical;
It makes sense.
So how come you're making me doubt myself?
-NHG
Cinderella
That was straight out of Cinderella,
And guess what?
You weren't the blonde headed beauty.
You're the evil step sister; hideous and mean,
Because that was cruel and uncalled for;
A fitting end to a horrible day,
But hey, at least all fairy tales have happy endings.
So just you wait; I'll cash out on mine eventually.
-NHG
And guess what?
You weren't the blonde headed beauty.
You're the evil step sister; hideous and mean,
Because that was cruel and uncalled for;
A fitting end to a horrible day,
But hey, at least all fairy tales have happy endings.
So just you wait; I'll cash out on mine eventually.
-NHG
Obsession
"Obsessed" they said,
"He's obsessed with you,"
And it sounds like an odd thing to say;
A stranger thing yet to think
But maybe there's some truth to it,
Because he's cold and he's dark
And he's lost in this world;
Alone in this world, and so very dark
And the brooding, inconceivable evil,
It gleams in his eyes,
Repulsive and eerie at the same time.
And his shadow in the dark,
Over you with a knife-
Troubling in it's likelihood.
The passion that is shown
In the way the spilled blood lies
Cold and calculated; premeditated art,
And he's so close to the edge,
So close to becoming the artist
And what if you're the muse?
You'll surely be the first to go.
Obsession or victim?
Maybe that's what they should have asked.
And you regret it now;
The mistake you made.
You should have stayed away,
And never said hello.
What a strange thing;
To predict your own death.
"He's obsessed with you,"
And it sounds like an odd thing to say;
A stranger thing yet to think
But maybe there's some truth to it,
Because he's cold and he's dark
And he's lost in this world;
Alone in this world, and so very dark
And the brooding, inconceivable evil,
It gleams in his eyes,
Repulsive and eerie at the same time.
And his shadow in the dark,
Over you with a knife-
Troubling in it's likelihood.
The passion that is shown
In the way the spilled blood lies
Cold and calculated; premeditated art,
And he's so close to the edge,
So close to becoming the artist
And what if you're the muse?
You'll surely be the first to go.
Obsession or victim?
Maybe that's what they should have asked.
And you regret it now;
The mistake you made.
You should have stayed away,
And never said hello.
What a strange thing;
To predict your own death.
-NHG
I Miss You
I hear your accent in their voices;
Your words in their mouths
I see your smile on their faces,
And hear your laugh in their laughs,
I see your attributes in strangers,
Your walk in their strides
I miss that room, my "you place"
3000 miles is just too far,
-NHG
Your words in their mouths
I see your smile on their faces,
And hear your laugh in their laughs,
I see your attributes in strangers,
Your walk in their strides
I miss that room, my "you place"
3000 miles is just too far,
-NHG
Disappointment
And I never;
Not once imagined,
That I could dread being around you.
That I'd have to brace myself
As I hear footsteps on the stairs,
That my stomach would tie in knots
Every time that I hear a car, or a set of keys.
That I would hold my breath every time the door opens,
And if it's not you, I go back to being me.
But if I hear your voice;
Your voice that now haunts me,
The mask goes on and the game begins again,
And it's really just a matter of time;
Who knows how long I'll be able to cope;
It's the ultimate test of my patience,
And I can't say that I'm surprised;
You were always a mystery,
Now you're just more of a disappointment.
-NHG
Not once imagined,
That I could dread being around you.
That I'd have to brace myself
As I hear footsteps on the stairs,
That my stomach would tie in knots
Every time that I hear a car, or a set of keys.
That I would hold my breath every time the door opens,
And if it's not you, I go back to being me.
But if I hear your voice;
Your voice that now haunts me,
The mask goes on and the game begins again,
And it's really just a matter of time;
Who knows how long I'll be able to cope;
It's the ultimate test of my patience,
And I can't say that I'm surprised;
You were always a mystery,
Now you're just more of a disappointment.
-NHG
Constant
I'll be your most hated;
Least loved, second best.
I'll be the forgotten;
The stable, the constant.
I'll pretend to be a happy;
A smile on my face.
And one day I'll disappear-
I hope you don't notice.
Because if you notice,
You'll pretend that you care,
But your sympathy is nothing;
Your words aren't enough;
I don't need your compassion.
Your bias? It sickens me.
But I'll stop now,
Before I go one step too far.
-NHG
Least loved, second best.
I'll be the forgotten;
The stable, the constant.
I'll pretend to be a happy;
A smile on my face.
And one day I'll disappear-
I hope you don't notice.
Because if you notice,
You'll pretend that you care,
But your sympathy is nothing;
Your words aren't enough;
I don't need your compassion.
Your bias? It sickens me.
But I'll stop now,
Before I go one step too far.
-NHG
Electric (You&I)
I heard you, the two of you
And my heart broke a little bit more,
I was happy you were happy,
Just scared I guess;
That with her, I'd be replaced,
Because I'm not too great at keeping people around;
Or even talking about how I really feel.
So I just zoned out;
Disconnected,
Because if I was going to lose you,
I might as well do it on my own terms,
But then I felt a tap on my shoulder
And it was electric.
I turned around startled,
But of course it was you.
And I looked at you for a minute,
You standing there; looking back at me.
My earphones in; the world blocked out,
And I don't know what you saw in my eyes;
I'm not quite sure what I saw in yours,
But it's a powerful connection,
More powerful than we realize;
Taking a few seconds to just look someone in the eye
And then you gestured with your head,
Because obviously she was there
And reality summoned us back.
It's crazy the things that stay with us;
The things that touch us;
The things we remember.
It's been at least 2 years now,
I don't think you know how much I care about you.
I guess it's true though,
Maybe you really can find yourself in somebody else's eyes.
-NHG
And my heart broke a little bit more,
I was happy you were happy,
Just scared I guess;
That with her, I'd be replaced,
Because I'm not too great at keeping people around;
Or even talking about how I really feel.
So I just zoned out;
Disconnected,
Because if I was going to lose you,
I might as well do it on my own terms,
But then I felt a tap on my shoulder
And it was electric.
I turned around startled,
But of course it was you.
And I looked at you for a minute,
You standing there; looking back at me.
My earphones in; the world blocked out,
And I don't know what you saw in my eyes;
I'm not quite sure what I saw in yours,
But it's a powerful connection,
More powerful than we realize;
Taking a few seconds to just look someone in the eye
And then you gestured with your head,
Because obviously she was there
And reality summoned us back.
It's crazy the things that stay with us;
The things that touch us;
The things we remember.
It's been at least 2 years now,
I don't think you know how much I care about you.
I guess it's true though,
Maybe you really can find yourself in somebody else's eyes.
-NHG
You
I still remember you know,
The way you looked at me.
How you just stopped;
How everything just stopped.
The people around us vanished,
The sound faded away,
And you looked me in the eyes.
And for two good and glorious seconds,
You just looked at me; saw me,
And that's enough to last a lifetime.
Because staring into your eyes,
And you staring back?
That's worth far more than anyone will ever know.
-NHG
The way you looked at me.
How you just stopped;
How everything just stopped.
The people around us vanished,
The sound faded away,
And you looked me in the eyes.
And for two good and glorious seconds,
You just looked at me; saw me,
And that's enough to last a lifetime.
Because staring into your eyes,
And you staring back?
That's worth far more than anyone will ever know.
-NHG
Happy Birthday
For Afra:
Little children, wild and free,
We played and laughed and ran.
Dressed by our parents and loud as can be,
Banned from playing on the 7th floor.
Little children and childish games,
Swings and slides and stunts
We played with dolls and skipping ropes,
Reporting home by 7pm.
Little children and notes under doors,
Shouting from balconies too,
Running games and rock pit houses
We really tried it all.
Little children, sliding down wet slopes,
To lift tag and playing in the rain.
Kent-Vale tag and capture the flag,
Irritating hardworking students.
Little children, noisy and bold
When the security guards were our best friends!
"Big fat gorilla" and the strong Indian guy,
We must have seemed so strange!
Little children, discovering love,
The Westlife and Backstreet Boys craze
From secrets and crushes, to liking the same guys,
How did we even stay friends?
Little children, growing up,
Painted nails and playing sports,
Jogging now to keep in shape,
And busy-long days at school.
Little children-not so little anymore,
Somehow managed to stay close,
Neighbours, friends, confidants,
Just a wall between the two families.
Little children, grew up too quick,
Seventeen years now past.
An adult at uni, back where it all began,
But this little child will never forget...
Happy Birthday!
-NHG
Little children, wild and free,
We played and laughed and ran.
Dressed by our parents and loud as can be,
Banned from playing on the 7th floor.
Little children and childish games,
Swings and slides and stunts
We played with dolls and skipping ropes,
Reporting home by 7pm.
Little children and notes under doors,
Shouting from balconies too,
Running games and rock pit houses
We really tried it all.
Little children, sliding down wet slopes,
To lift tag and playing in the rain.
Kent-Vale tag and capture the flag,
Irritating hardworking students.
Little children, noisy and bold
When the security guards were our best friends!
"Big fat gorilla" and the strong Indian guy,
We must have seemed so strange!
Little children, discovering love,
The Westlife and Backstreet Boys craze
From secrets and crushes, to liking the same guys,
How did we even stay friends?
Little children, growing up,
Painted nails and playing sports,
Jogging now to keep in shape,
And busy-long days at school.
Little children-not so little anymore,
Somehow managed to stay close,
Neighbours, friends, confidants,
Just a wall between the two families.
Little children, grew up too quick,
Seventeen years now past.
An adult at uni, back where it all began,
But this little child will never forget...
Happy Birthday!
-NHG
Answers
It makes sense,
That our minds can't come to terms with God;
That we can't fathom his existence,
Because what invention,
Is greater that it's creator?
And that's what we are;
Inventions,
But we don't know it,
Because we don't see the bigger picture;
We can't;
We weren't designed to
And so we search for answers,
But at the end of the day?
We'll always come up short,
We'll always be found wanting.
-NHG
That our minds can't come to terms with God;
That we can't fathom his existence,
Because what invention,
Is greater that it's creator?
And that's what we are;
Inventions,
But we don't know it,
Because we don't see the bigger picture;
We can't;
We weren't designed to
And so we search for answers,
But at the end of the day?
We'll always come up short,
We'll always be found wanting.
-NHG
Him
He's sitting there;
So close,
And it's killing you
Because it's like there's a force field;
Like fate's telling you it was never meant to be.
Because he's within reach;
Just like everybody else
But something's holding you back;
Fear maybe,
And you're fighting with yourself,
Watching the opportunities pass you by;
Wondering,
How can he possibly attract and repel at the same time?
And with a force so strong,
It's like being ripped in two.
So you sit there and wait,
Because maybe one day,
The balance will finally tip in your favour.
-NHG
So close,
And it's killing you
Because it's like there's a force field;
Like fate's telling you it was never meant to be.
Because he's within reach;
Just like everybody else
But something's holding you back;
Fear maybe,
And you're fighting with yourself,
Watching the opportunities pass you by;
Wondering,
How can he possibly attract and repel at the same time?
And with a force so strong,
It's like being ripped in two.
So you sit there and wait,
Because maybe one day,
The balance will finally tip in your favour.
-NHG
Forever
I'm alone,
Because I choose to be alone.
There's just no one worth being with;
Including me,
Because nothing lasts forever,
And maybe,
If we all cared a little bit more about forever,
The world would be a far better place to live in.
-NHG
Because I choose to be alone.
There's just no one worth being with;
Including me,
Because nothing lasts forever,
And maybe,
If we all cared a little bit more about forever,
The world would be a far better place to live in.
-NHG
Precious
It doesn't matter how small you are,
Or how insignificant you may feel.
Your life is for a purpose.
You're a precious little gift,
Because you have a story to tell;
Your story. And with it?
You have the ability to change a life.
-NHG
Or how insignificant you may feel.
Your life is for a purpose.
You're a precious little gift,
Because you have a story to tell;
Your story. And with it?
You have the ability to change a life.
-NHG
Perfection
Vision sets limitations;
Our eyes are our own deceivers,
Because we only see what we believe to be there,
And our minds can convince us of anything.
We aren't flawed creations;
We were simply made to a degree of perfection that escapes our limited understanding.
-NHG
Our eyes are our own deceivers,
Because we only see what we believe to be there,
And our minds can convince us of anything.
We aren't flawed creations;
We were simply made to a degree of perfection that escapes our limited understanding.
-NHG
Oblivious
It's mesmerizing,
How she's walking off a plank,
With her eyes wide open;
Sentencing herself to her own grave.
And it's remarkable;
That she's oblivious to the abuse that she inflicts upon herself.
But I suppose you wouldn't recognize it either,
Because not all abuse leaves bruises and physical scars.
How she's walking off a plank,
With her eyes wide open;
Sentencing herself to her own grave.
And it's remarkable;
That she's oblivious to the abuse that she inflicts upon herself.
But I suppose you wouldn't recognize it either,
Because not all abuse leaves bruises and physical scars.
-NHG
Smile
Sometimes you just have to smile,
Because even if you can't help yourself,
There's somebody out there who's day you can brighten up just a little bit more.
-NHG
Because even if you can't help yourself,
There's somebody out there who's day you can brighten up just a little bit more.
-NHG
War
Man craves war;
Kill or be killed.
Bloodshed,
Gruesome sacrifice,
And all because of pride;
Barbaric, animalistic pride.
And how pitiful we are,
The 'greatest' of all creation.
What a disgrace to ourselves.
The innocent die at the hands of evil,
And murderers go unpunished.
Violated people,
Live to see their abusers walk free.
When suicide is just an alternative to living,
And broken families a norm.
We're in a world on fire,
Burning from the core out
And soon we'll consume ourselves,
Because that is man;
That is our legacy.
We destroy each other,
Until there is nothing left.
Bloodshed,
Gruesome sacrifice,
And all because of pride;
Barbaric, animalistic pride.
And how pitiful we are,
The 'greatest' of all creation.
What a disgrace to ourselves.
The innocent die at the hands of evil,
And murderers go unpunished.
Violated people,
Live to see their abusers walk free.
When suicide is just an alternative to living,
And broken families a norm.
We're in a world on fire,
Burning from the core out
And soon we'll consume ourselves,
Because that is man;
That is our legacy.
We destroy each other,
Until there is nothing left.
Nyamedo A.D.
Reality
Law with all it's many flaws,
At least got something right:
There's two sides to every story;
Two sides to every fight.
That's clearly not how you see it;
And untrue in your little world,
But maybe, just maybe,
Your perception of reality is a lie.
-NHG
At least got something right:
There's two sides to every story;
Two sides to every fight.
That's clearly not how you see it;
And untrue in your little world,
But maybe, just maybe,
Your perception of reality is a lie.
-NHG
Listen
She's on edge,
Not breaking,
Broken.
And she's fallen,
As far as she can handle falling,
But she's invisible,
Her silent pleas ignored
And she's fading;
There's not much left of her
And the signs?
They go unnoticed,
Or you pretend they aren't there;
Pure ignorance,
And she's losing the will to live,
And so she pops those pills,
She's gone.
And it's forever;
Irreversible,
A waste.
And you're crying.
But your hypocrisy is unbearable.
And it's no excuse,
But she didn't want your tears.
All she needed,
Was for you to listen.
-NHG
Not breaking,
Broken.
And she's fallen,
As far as she can handle falling,
But she's invisible,
Her silent pleas ignored
And she's fading;
There's not much left of her
And the signs?
They go unnoticed,
Or you pretend they aren't there;
Pure ignorance,
And she's losing the will to live,
And so she pops those pills,
She's gone.
And it's forever;
Irreversible,
A waste.
And you're crying.
But your hypocrisy is unbearable.
And it's no excuse,
But she didn't want your tears.
All she needed,
Was for you to listen.
-NHG
Her Voice
She talks,
And you look right at her,
But you never hear her,
Not until she's screaming,
Tears running down her face.
Breathless;
A complete and utter mess.
Because only then,
Does she have a voice.
-NHG
And you look right at her,
But you never hear her,
Not until she's screaming,
Tears running down her face.
Breathless;
A complete and utter mess.
Because only then,
Does she have a voice.
-NHG
Living Dead
Her eyes, they're black;
As black as coal,
Both iris and pupil;
Beautiful they say.
'The window to her soul',
And you could lose yourself in those eyes;
Eyes that tell a story;
The story of her despair,
Because eyes don't lie.
And hers are dark;
Scars that she will always carry,
Hiding what she's unable to un-live,
What she can never un-see.
And they're the perfect reflection,
Of her heart;
A black so pure, it's painful.
Because how could such a heart even beat?
And then you see them,
Her bones;
Her carcass,
The decay,
And those beautiful black eyes;
They're merely a distraction,
And they stop you from noticing,
She's the living dead.
-NHG
As black as coal,
Both iris and pupil;
Beautiful they say.
'The window to her soul',
And you could lose yourself in those eyes;
Eyes that tell a story;
The story of her despair,
Because eyes don't lie.
And hers are dark;
Scars that she will always carry,
Hiding what she's unable to un-live,
What she can never un-see.
And they're the perfect reflection,
Of her heart;
A black so pure, it's painful.
Because how could such a heart even beat?
And then you see them,
Her bones;
Her carcass,
The decay,
And those beautiful black eyes;
They're merely a distraction,
And they stop you from noticing,
She's the living dead.
-NHG
You Don't Know Me
You think you know me,
Because I trusted you;
Confided in you,
I just didn't care, because I didn't know you.
Because I trusted you;
Confided in you,
I just didn't care, because I didn't know you.
You think you understand me,
Because I'm just "an open book";
"So easily definable".
Your ignorance? It's unattractive.
Because I'm just "an open book";
"So easily definable".
Your ignorance? It's unattractive.
You think you're worse off?
Well life's not a competition;
It's not about who's got it worse.
But there you go, making it all about you.
Well life's not a competition;
It's not about who's got it worse.
But there you go, making it all about you.
You think I get everything I want,
Well, would you look at that,
You clearly don't know me all that well,
Because all I want, is to be happy.
Well, would you look at that,
You clearly don't know me all that well,
Because all I want, is to be happy.
You think we're the same,
That we've been through the same stuff?
Well that's a joke.
You weren't there; stop pretending you can understand.
That we've been through the same stuff?
Well that's a joke.
You weren't there; stop pretending you can understand.
You think I'm lucky,
My life's just a walk in the park,
But you wouldn't switch places with me,
You don't know how much you have to lose.
My life's just a walk in the park,
But you wouldn't switch places with me,
You don't know how much you have to lose.
You think you know me;
That our minds work the same way,
But how can you possibly know me,
When I don't even know myself?
-NHG
That our minds work the same way,
But how can you possibly know me,
When I don't even know myself?
-NHG
Alone
It's quiet,
And you're alone.
It's getting darker,
But you're just sitting there,
Staring at a clock;
The hours passing by.
12am, then 2am
And you're lost;
Stuck in time.
You've reached a dead end,
And nothing makes any sense;
You can't get past this.
So it doesn't matter if you sleep tonight,
It doesn't matter if you wake up tomorrow morning,
There's just too much in your head.
Your mind is a whirlwind;
You can literally feel it spinning around,
And there's no space for anything else.
You can't even calm yourself down,
You're simply lost in thought,
Sinking deeper and deeper;
Spinning faster and faster.
You're literally in your own head;
A powerless spectator,
And it just hurts.
And you feel like screaming,
But screaming won't help you
And you're crying,
And your head aches,
Because it's too loud,
And there's no escaping it.
So you're desperate,
Thinking maybe you can distract yourself,
Because physical pain?
How could that possibly be worse than this?
And you're alone with yourself,
And it's the darkest place that you could ever be.
And you're alone.
It's getting darker,
But you're just sitting there,
Staring at a clock;
The hours passing by.
12am, then 2am
And you're lost;
Stuck in time.
You've reached a dead end,
And nothing makes any sense;
You can't get past this.
So it doesn't matter if you sleep tonight,
It doesn't matter if you wake up tomorrow morning,
There's just too much in your head.
Your mind is a whirlwind;
You can literally feel it spinning around,
And there's no space for anything else.
You can't even calm yourself down,
You're simply lost in thought,
Sinking deeper and deeper;
Spinning faster and faster.
You're literally in your own head;
A powerless spectator,
And it just hurts.
And you feel like screaming,
But screaming won't help you
And you're crying,
And your head aches,
Because it's too loud,
And there's no escaping it.
So you're desperate,
Thinking maybe you can distract yourself,
Because physical pain?
How could that possibly be worse than this?
And you're alone with yourself,
And it's the darkest place that you could ever be.
-NHG
Back Then
When you stand there and break.
An endless supply of tears
Cascading down your face
Before you even understand why
And you're frozen in time,
Stood like a statue;
Stuck in that moment
That very second when you realize,
Nothing will ever be the same.
You can't ignore this,
And the tears keep coming,
Because you're fed up.
Tired and scared.
And your body?
It has no other solution.
Inconsolable.
That's what you are
Because in that moment,
Everything just stops.
It's too much for you
It feels like the weight of the world-but more
And what could possibly be worse?
Your first heartbreak,
Exceeding what you could have imagined,
And not in the form you would have thought.
But then there are arms around you
And you break all over
Because these arms are stronger than you-
All of you.
And you thought you couldn't break again;
Not more than once.
But that was a lie.
Because you don't have to be whole to break,
And you're broken
In more ways than you know,
In more places than you care to acknowledge.
But then you're in your bed,
Covers all around you,
Clutching something-anything,
Because the inanimate can't traumatise you.
Certainly not like this.
And you're praying,
That nothing else happens tonight,
That your fear would no longer appear justified
And you wonder,
Why...?
And it haunts you;
Scares you immeasurably,
That some questions are never answered;
That some truths are simply forgotten.
An endless supply of tears
Cascading down your face
Before you even understand why
And you're frozen in time,
Stood like a statue;
Stuck in that moment
That very second when you realize,
Nothing will ever be the same.
You can't ignore this,
And the tears keep coming,
Because you're fed up.
Tired and scared.
And your body?
It has no other solution.
Inconsolable.
That's what you are
Because in that moment,
Everything just stops.
It's too much for you
It feels like the weight of the world-but more
And what could possibly be worse?
Your first heartbreak,
Exceeding what you could have imagined,
And not in the form you would have thought.
But then there are arms around you
And you break all over
Because these arms are stronger than you-
All of you.
And you thought you couldn't break again;
Not more than once.
But that was a lie.
Because you don't have to be whole to break,
And you're broken
In more ways than you know,
In more places than you care to acknowledge.
But then you're in your bed,
Covers all around you,
Clutching something-anything,
Because the inanimate can't traumatise you.
Certainly not like this.
And you're praying,
That nothing else happens tonight,
That your fear would no longer appear justified
And you wonder,
Why...?
And it haunts you;
Scares you immeasurably,
That some questions are never answered;
That some truths are simply forgotten.
-NHG
Pedestal
Perfection in a person,
To believe that perfection is real.
Look up to them,
Admire them,
Cry for them,
But wait.
Stop.
That person leaves.
They let you down.
Their perfection?
Merely a myth;
One that you created,
Delusion,
That caused you to believe yourself.
The truth?
I.
One word;
Single.
Standing alone.
Protecting itself,
Not selfish; aware.
You die alone.
How can you trust someone,
When they’re destined to fail?
Or love someone,
When they cause you pain?
Love unconditional
The greatest burden to bear.
“Forgive and forget;”
Forgiving-the easier part.
But how do you forget?
The tears.
The hurt.
The hate.
Fear that once kept you awake at night.
The pillow.
The air unable to fill your lungs.
Dispossessed,
Or possessed rather?
A monster either way.
But they tell me
You can’t blame her,
But that wasn’t her.
Or at least,
Not the her I thought I knew.
Does that change what happened?
I can’t say that it does.
It doesn’t hurt any less.
Memories; a movie,
In high definition.
Forever in your head.
Flashbacks,
Where you can taste your own fear.
Disappointment,
Hopelessness,
But mostly fear.
Uncertainty,
Unpredictability.
When nothing scared you more
Than being left with her,
Alone with her.
The one you once thought,
Was perfect.
-NHG
To believe that perfection is real.
Look up to them,
Admire them,
Cry for them,
But wait.
Stop.
That person leaves.
They let you down.
Their perfection?
Merely a myth;
One that you created,
Delusion,
That caused you to believe yourself.
The truth?
I.
One word;
Single.
Standing alone.
Protecting itself,
Not selfish; aware.
You die alone.
How can you trust someone,
When they’re destined to fail?
Or love someone,
When they cause you pain?
Love unconditional
The greatest burden to bear.
“Forgive and forget;”
Forgiving-the easier part.
But how do you forget?
The tears.
The hurt.
The hate.
Fear that once kept you awake at night.
The pillow.
The air unable to fill your lungs.
Dispossessed,
Or possessed rather?
A monster either way.
But they tell me
You can’t blame her,
But that wasn’t her.
Or at least,
Not the her I thought I knew.
Does that change what happened?
I can’t say that it does.
It doesn’t hurt any less.
Memories; a movie,
In high definition.
Forever in your head.
Flashbacks,
Where you can taste your own fear.
Disappointment,
Hopelessness,
But mostly fear.
Uncertainty,
Unpredictability.
When nothing scared you more
Than being left with her,
Alone with her.
The one you once thought,
Was perfect.
-NHG
Little Girl
Frightened little girl, sad and alone
Broken and in pieces, She’s lost all control
A laugh that comes instead of tears, a smile that hides the hurt
Inside She’s a castle, crumbling apart
Perfect little girl, praised and adored
Confused by expectations, She can barely breathe,
Love as pure as gold, hate like savage beasts
Juxtaposed in herself, who is She?
Kind little girl, gentle and polite
Always in control, calm, serene,
Thoughtfulness and helpfulness-what qualities!
At least make others happy, how hard can it be?
Naïve little girl, always looks for good
Blinded without reason; optimism flawed
Lies and deception, her trust misunderstood
Innocence is preyed upon-She’s labeled gullible
Cautious little girl, guarded; in a shell,
People-overrated, destined just to fail
Her heart protected by a wall, She can’t let you in
You’ll never be her failure; She’s far too well concealed
Obedient little girl, follow your marked path
Do as you are told, questions-do not ask,
Live up to their standards; prove that you’re of worth
Replace that blank look with a smile, just because you must.
Broken little girl, scars don’t always fade,
Troubled deep within, where from all this pain?
Pretends She isn’t hurt, look her in the eye,
Explaining is impossible, this-we call it life.
Lonely little girl, who does She really have?
If failure’s guaranteed, then no one stays around,
She feels too deep, cares too much. Could She be loved that strong?
It’s hard to see that happening; unimaginable.
Uncertain little girl, how much longer does She have?
Shyness gets her nowhere, it simply holds her back
Live a little, loosen up-that’s what people say
She worries though and thinks too much; unsure of every step.
Strong little girl, She’s stronger than you know,
Maybe She’s the first to cry but those tears, She does not own
Falling tears, a rage unknown, a hate that’s so untamed
Her knuckles-how they know her wrath, her knuckles and her screams.
Smart little girl, knows She feels too hard,
People-unreliable, her passion elsewhere lies
No one is worth it, not worth going insane,
She buries herself in other things, things less capable of blame.
Numb little girl, feels just a shiver down her spine,
The mouth that boasts of her, is the very first to doubt
Utterly disconnected, truly paralysed,
She takes all the critique; it makes her feel alive.
Fragile little girl, as foolish as could be,
Sometimes She gives up on life-no future can be seen.
Tired and worn out, what more can She do?
Her spirit is exhausted, consumed-there’s no more fuel.
Weary little girl, burdened by her past,
Memories that haunt her, uncontrollable relapse,
Her worthlessness-just ask that one, she’ll know just what She means.
Shattered from an early age, She grew amongst the thorns.
Strange little girl, cryptic little life,
Emotion cannot master her; She always wins the fight.
Is this the right way to live? Really, who can say?
She’s normal, just like anyone. I will not be derailed.
-NHG
Broken and in pieces, She’s lost all control
A laugh that comes instead of tears, a smile that hides the hurt
Inside She’s a castle, crumbling apart
Perfect little girl, praised and adored
Confused by expectations, She can barely breathe,
Love as pure as gold, hate like savage beasts
Juxtaposed in herself, who is She?
Kind little girl, gentle and polite
Always in control, calm, serene,
Thoughtfulness and helpfulness-what qualities!
At least make others happy, how hard can it be?
Naïve little girl, always looks for good
Blinded without reason; optimism flawed
Lies and deception, her trust misunderstood
Innocence is preyed upon-She’s labeled gullible
Cautious little girl, guarded; in a shell,
People-overrated, destined just to fail
Her heart protected by a wall, She can’t let you in
You’ll never be her failure; She’s far too well concealed
Obedient little girl, follow your marked path
Do as you are told, questions-do not ask,
Live up to their standards; prove that you’re of worth
Replace that blank look with a smile, just because you must.
Broken little girl, scars don’t always fade,
Troubled deep within, where from all this pain?
Pretends She isn’t hurt, look her in the eye,
Explaining is impossible, this-we call it life.
Lonely little girl, who does She really have?
If failure’s guaranteed, then no one stays around,
She feels too deep, cares too much. Could She be loved that strong?
It’s hard to see that happening; unimaginable.
Uncertain little girl, how much longer does She have?
Shyness gets her nowhere, it simply holds her back
Live a little, loosen up-that’s what people say
She worries though and thinks too much; unsure of every step.
Strong little girl, She’s stronger than you know,
Maybe She’s the first to cry but those tears, She does not own
Falling tears, a rage unknown, a hate that’s so untamed
Her knuckles-how they know her wrath, her knuckles and her screams.
Smart little girl, knows She feels too hard,
People-unreliable, her passion elsewhere lies
No one is worth it, not worth going insane,
She buries herself in other things, things less capable of blame.
Numb little girl, feels just a shiver down her spine,
The mouth that boasts of her, is the very first to doubt
Utterly disconnected, truly paralysed,
She takes all the critique; it makes her feel alive.
Fragile little girl, as foolish as could be,
Sometimes She gives up on life-no future can be seen.
Tired and worn out, what more can She do?
Her spirit is exhausted, consumed-there’s no more fuel.
Weary little girl, burdened by her past,
Memories that haunt her, uncontrollable relapse,
Her worthlessness-just ask that one, she’ll know just what She means.
Shattered from an early age, She grew amongst the thorns.
Strange little girl, cryptic little life,
Emotion cannot master her; She always wins the fight.
Is this the right way to live? Really, who can say?
She’s normal, just like anyone. I will not be derailed.
-NHG
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